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One's Old Self
Tuesday, February 1, 2022 | February 01, 2022 | 0 comments
Norshahirah Abdul Razak (2106726) Dear former self, First thing first, do you realise that no matter what you've done, I've never regretted it? I'm who I am now because of you. Because you were wild and rebellious, not everyone could understand your point of view. I now realise how lonely it felt to be excluded for a semester. You, like a lone wolf, paid no attention to all the rumours that hurt you. You continue to stand strong even while the world turns its back on you. Despite the fact that your trust has been betrayed by many, you continue to put your faith in others. Do you know how strong you are? Don't belittle yourself. You've overcome one challenge after another without fear. I'm curious as to how you're able to be so powerful at such a young age. Your aura was terrifying, and many people thought you gave them a different feeling, and as a result, you forgot you were human as well. You're being so hard on yourself, forcing yourself to do something you don't want to do merely to meet their expectations. I never blamed you for feeling that way because I understood that, at the end of the day, it was your image that mattered the most. You've gone too far down the rabbit hole, and you've lost any sense of self-worth. Suicidal thoughts and depression change you into a heartless monster. I need to keep you inside of me so you don't cause yourself any more harm. I'm doing this for us, and I'm confident you'll be pleased with the outcome. I'm sure you can sense how I'm feeling right now. It's because you used to be me. I'm stronger because of you, and I'll make sure to say what I want instead of keeping it inside like you did. You'd tasted the abyss and understood just how it felt; bliss in hell. To be honest, I enjoy it as well, but I'd prefer it if it were in heaven. It is only transitory, and I consider myself fortunate that you are able to do something that others consider dangerous. If somebody criticises you in the future, I will stand by you with our principles. Our perception of the world differs greatly from what they see. They have every right to talk about it, but I'll make sure they don't have any right to implement it in our minds since they have no idea who I am or who you were.
Finally, I'd want to express my gratitude for overcoming all of those problems alone. We both know how powerful we are, and I'm hoping to become even stronger than we have been. If I crumble, I'll unleash you, and you'll be able to take over my body and confront the world. You don't need to apologise, and I'm not going to forgive you since you didn't do anything wrong. I'm glad you're a part of my life. We become one because you are me and I am you.
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