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To Almighty
Tuesday, February 22, 2022 | February 22, 2022 | 0 comments
I never knew You when I was a child because I was too busy loving the world. I was so carefree, not understanding what was halal and haram. I was bullied, but it didn't bother me since my parents and teachers instilled in me the belief that criticising others is a sin. I didn't do anything haram because I was a kid, and to be honest, I miss being a kid. I was devastated when puberty hit me. Because I have darker complexion, they grow irritated and continue to insult me. Because of my existence, I began to blame You and became rebellious. I despised You and asked You why You put me through this, but I know I'll never get an answer. Because I had lose faith in society and religion, I became wild. I didn't want to be bothered, so I began to violate the religion's rules one by one. I used to despise people, and I blamed it all on You, so I tried to convert to a different religion. I attempted to find any organisation that could assist me, but no one answered to my emails or text messages. But You weren't mad at me for what I did. After several years of defiance, I began to perceive and comprehend the underlying significance of everything. I desire Your guidance, yet many Muslims detest me because I am a sinner. That is when I realise how horrible humans can be when they judge others as if they are better. I learnt my lesson, yet the stench of transgression is difficult to wash away. I messed up, and I know You will not condemn me as a human being since You are the Creator of humans. You know me too well, and I understand that all of the trials you provided were part of growing up. Because of You, the creator of the universe, I am now completely aware of every test and punishment. I'm here seeking your direction, and I realise it's a little late to do a lot of good deeds to go to paradise. I'm grateful that You gave me more time to live so that I could return to You. Also, even though I'm terrified of the punishment in Hell, I'll accept responsibility for my sins. Please lead me till the day of resurrection from the depths of my soul. I am grateful for having wonderful parents and a great spouse who can help me stay on the right track. Please grant me patience and fortify my intellect so that I can face future difficulties. Please accept my apologies on behalf of my family, siblings, and best friends. I understand that we are not qualified to enter paradise, but we are also terrified of hell. So, as You are the most merciful, please forgive all of our wrongdoings and sins and have mercy on us.
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